the mysterious prevalence of butter knives at thrift stores

For some time now I've been tired of my silverware. Or rather, I feel like it's not really my style and would prefer something else. Something without flowers.

You know, I was a different person back when I got married nearly 14 years ago. I've changed, but my flatware pattern has stayed the same. Maybe it was just too much to ask for a lifetime commitment, when I was so young and uninformed about all the choices out there.

Of course, the fact that I would even spend time thinking about this indicates that:

a) I don't have a whole lot of "real" problems,
b) I spend way too much time interacting with my silverware (i.e. taking it from the drawer, placing it on the table, rinsing and putting it in the dishwasher, removing it from the dishwasher and returning it to the drawer), and
c) I've been exposed to way too many Crate and Barrel catalogs.

Now, considering that I hate shopping in general, yet view thrift store shopping as sport, I thought the logical place to look for new silverware would be my local thrift stores. I even thought, gee, wouldn't it be clever and funky to get mismatched place settings, just a hodgepodge of forks, spoons and knives instead of a boring old uniform set? And in the meantime save money, because have you shopped for flatware lately? Not cheap. No wonder it's one of those things you ask for when you get married.

But I noticed something very strange, not just at one, but both of the major thrift stores in my town. There were lots and lots and lots of knives. All types of knives, but particularly butter knives. TONS. I mean, hundreds of butter knives of all patterns and designs. Forks and spoons? Hardly any. Just a few, and most of those did not match each other, nor any of the butter knives.

What is happening to all the forks and spoons? Why are people donating so many butter knives? Did all of their forks and spoons get destroyed by the garbage disposal? Or do people give away sets, but then someone comes and buys only the forks and spoons? Why don't they want the knives? Now I'm so absorbed with thinking about this mystery I can't even think about my next plan of attack for switching out my silverware.

So for now I guess I'm stuck with flowers.

news(ish)

Forty-five minutes of MSNBC at the gym--and this is without the volume, just the closed-captioning rolling across the screen--and I've had my fill of what passes for news these days.

Fifteen minutes were devoted to the 2012 presidential race, which was more than enough. Already I am sick of hearing about it and we've got a year and a half to go.

The other half hour was mostly about that Weiner guy who sent the lewd photos to women using his cell phone. Will he resign? Should he resign? What are other democratic congressmen saying? How about female democratic leaders? What are his constituents saying? Let's look at the results of a recent poll. Will the ethics committee investigate? Blah, blah blah.

Next time I think I'll choose a different treadmill and watch Judge Judy instead.

my head weighs 44.2 pounds

Effectively. Based on physics. According to my PostureScreen analysis.

Really my head weighs closer to 10 pounds. But for reasons that probably have something to do with hunching over a computer screen (like I'm doing right now), my head is shifted 3.5 inches forward.

This information did not come as a surprise. I can see it when I look in the mirror. I knew things weren't right. That's why I had the screen done in the first place.

So, I'm probably going back to the chiropractor for a while. It's been a long time, because I absolutely dread going to the chiropractor. I'd rather go to the dentist. Last time I went after years of carrying babies around on my hip. After a few months I was about half an inch taller and I felt so much better. Still I hate going. It makes me nervous, and I always tense up.

But a person can only walk around with a 44-pound head for so long. My neck hurts. So I'm going.

Everyone has their stories about chiropractic. It screwed up their back and ruined their life. It cured their cancer.

How about you, readers? What do you think?